Overdue Post

So I have been MIA for a while but I have a good excuse... ARUBA! That’s right I escaped to a tropical paradise for a week! Most people instantly think of the beach boy’s song, and know nothing else about this place. Here is the low down. Aruba is actually a desert. The island is covered in cactus and awesome Divi Divi trees and little else. The Divi trees grow in only one direction as the wind ALWAYS blows from the east. This is good because without the steady breeze any part of the island 50 yards from the beach would be TOO HOT in the HOT TUB! 80% of Aruba's economy is driven by tourists, so expensive. But the locals are eager to please, and take your money. Aruba speaks Papiamento, which is a mix of Portuguese, Spanish, English and Dutch. A common way to great someone is by saying "Dushi you". Which is basically -hello sweetie- but I found it very fun to say. The Caribbean ocean here is very nice. Crystal clear and 75 degrees! Tons of natural reefs and ocean life. The palm trees are imported, as is everything in Aruba except water, and a local beer called Balashi. A Balashi tastes like Heineken, gets better after two or three. Most beer comes in an 8oz bottle, so holding one makes you either feel ripped off, or like a giant.

I stayed off the hotel strips in a condo. The condo is called paradise, and it was. Newly remodeled with new furniture, and a private pool complete with waterfall and grill. Besides lounging by the pool or on the beach I spent a good deal of time exploring the island. The next few days I will post some "extended, director cut" stories. To get things rolling and to give you a feeling of the mix in cultures here is a simple good one.

After spending an afternoon hiking and exploring a natural pool, I was driving back to the condo being navigated by a local I had met named Marisa. I was hungry from all the activity. I had also been talking for a few hours non stop, to the chagrin of those in my company. I was craving a fish taco like a crack fiend. I was certain I could find a great place on this tropical island to eat about 12 delicious fresh Mexican/aquatic treats. So I asked Marissa "is there a good place to get fish tacos"? She replied "there are two places that a re good, one is 5 minutes from here". I got very excited. I started to describe what I hoped to find- "oh man its going to be so good! White fish wrapped in corn tortilla, with tartar sauce, cilantro and lime! I can't wait!"
The navigation Marissa was giving me was a little sketchy, taking me into some run down neighborhoods and once actually driving through an abandoned train yard. I figured I was about to discover a local gem of a Mexican stand kept hidden away from tourists. Finally she told me to part and pointed to an entrance. "Right in there" she said. I will wait here. "Are you sure you don't want one?" I asked. She looked at me like I was a mutant and said "why would I want one?” I walked into the entrance she had pointed out. I found myself in a bait shop full of Arabians. They all gave me a look like I had just busted down the door. I asked one, "where can I order a taco?” he said something I did not understand. I looked all around the shop, but saw nothing that looked like a place to order food. So I walked out thinking I must have entered the wrong door. Marissa was outside, "there are no taco's in there" I said.
"Tacos?" "Why would they have taco's" She asked
"I want a fish taco."
She threw her hands up in the air and looked exasperated. "I thought you asked for fish TACKLE"!
I lost it, laughing and complaining at the same time. She then informed me that I needed to speak correctly. Apparently it was MY accent that was difficult to understand. She then broke the tragic news to me that there are NO fish tacos on the island.
I still want one, and still have not had one.