Pets

If you have never met my cat Frankenstein much of what I am about to say will sound crazy. At the risk of portraying myself as one of those “cat people” I am going to share the new developments. Frank is a very unique cat. His distinct and fickle personality is the only reason I have him. He never likes to be held or cuddled. At the same time he always wants to be in the same vicinity as the action. Any physical contact is strictly on his terms only. And every so often he is simply a jerk chasing and biting people randomly. His favorite person to harass is Aaron, who considers himself a pants prisoner as a result of trying to protect his girlish legs from the Frank onslaught. His bad behavior has been getting worse since our last move. I am sure it is a side effect of the new training routine involving blasts of water for any unwanted behavior. We also had the idea that he was bored and needed to go outside. As our apartment is on the 2nd floor of a secure building letting him in and out at his leisure would be a difficult task. We decided as a solution to build him a bridge or cat walk if you will from our deck to the hillside behind our place. I enlisted the help of our houseguest Frank (the person) for the project. Frank (the person) being an engineer told me it would take 8 months and a million dollars. While he was busy trying to organize an environmental survey to assess the impact, Aaron and I built and installed the bridge. I was sure that Frank (the cat) would instantly run across the bridge to freedom. He refuses to use the bridge however. He stands at the end and meows but will not advance forward. The term “scardy cat” is very fitting here. We are going to add some railings, which Frank (the person) tells me will cost a million dollars and 8 months to build. Until then Aaron will continue to wear his pants and my coworkers will continue to think I cut myself from all the scars on my forearms.
In related news George and I set up the fish tank we found on moving day. It’s a small five gallon tank which we put two cichlids in. Mine is named Harpo Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr, in honor of all the Harpos that came before. George also is fostering a Costal California King snake which is really neat. We feed him mice on Sundays. We keep a bag of frozen mice in the freezer, so be careful if you are every rummaging in there for ice. I also learned from our new friends at the pet store that you can legally buy and keep alligators in Rhode Island. I am thinking of taking a road trip this weekend and picking me up a few. We can dig a moat for that cat-bridge and keep the riff-raft out!