A-Bridged

Last night we were hanging out in the kitchen discussing the finer points of Governor Palin’s stellar debate performance. Frank (the cat) came running in from the deck looking very upset. He stopped in the middle of the room and turn taking an aggressive stance looking at the door. I was not immediately alarmed; he tends to act crazy and often runs around like he is being chased by an imaginary pit bull. I looked towards the door and saw the glowing green eyes of nighttime creatures and goblins. I thought that Frank had no doubt been out talking trash to other cats and one had crossed his bridge to try and teach him a lesson. Then a small hand reached out and grabbed the screen. Frank (the person) shouted “it’s a raccoon!” Aaron, being slightly braver than a 12 year old girl in a haunted house, slammed the wooden door. I pushed him out of the way, excited to see the wild invader. When we got onto the deck I saw the distinct fluffy stripped tail end cross the bridge and scamper up the closest tree. When we spotlighted the bandit we saw TWO raccoons. It appears it was a nice couple out for an evening stroll, one large guy and one smaller female. The big guy was twice the size of Frank (the cat) which is really saying something. They were not in the least afraid of us. We sat starring at them, and they sat starring right back at us. The big guy actually hissed and growled. Frank (the cat), now backed up by all of us, was acting very brave standing on the edge of the bridge posturing at the coon’s. Now we have to figure out a way to keep the local wildlife and homeless from infiltrating onto our deck and very possibly our house. My first idea was some sort of pulley system so we can raise and lower the bridge. I consulted our in house engineer who informed me the upgrade would cost 2 million dollars and 18 months to build.